Machete is a hotheaded islander who lives in a place called Cabarete Village. After a botched theft attempt on a merchant ship, Machete decides to become a Sanky Panky instead with the plan to seduce well-to-do, merchant daughters. Machete sets his sights on the sickly yet beautiful daughter of merchant Bartholomew - Lady Blanca. Machete is stumped by the enigma Lady Blanca turns out to be but his seduction is interrupted when pirates attack the village and take Machete's mother hostage.
Machete goes to face Captain Envy, who offers Machete a deal. If Machete can somehow amass the sum of 1,000 pieces-of-eight then Machete can buy back his mother and Cabarete Village’s freedom. Machete convinces a drunkard ex-pirate captain to lend him a ship, seduces a deadly siren witch to get his hands on a map, and sets sail on a quest to find Pirate King Pride’s rumored lost treasure.
Machete gathers an interesting crew along the voyage to the mysterious Lost Island where the treasure is said to be located - a samurai sushi chef, a mermaid with navigating skills, and an ex-Templar Knight. When Machete ends up accidentally killing Captain Gluttony he makes enemies of the Seven Deadly Pirates who rule the seas and who are also after Pride’s treasure. It’s a race to the Pirate King’s gold and time is running out!